Sunday, October 4, 2009

A lesson

She was crying, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry" she sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and asked,"How come you are so upset." "I am afraid that you will leave as all the others have. I don't want to face the world without you" she told me. I felt her pain, knowing all too well that same emptiness and fear. I looked down into her eyes and knew what I must do. "Alright from this moment forth, you are my sub and will do as I command, do you agree?" I asked. "I'm not sure if I can, if I say yes, can I change my mind later?" she questioned. "You can end it at any time you wish, but know this, if you do, your training stops completely" I warned. With that I said, "This is your first assignment. Write me ten sentences, each one of them starting with, I am a sexy bitch because.... You have three days to complete it, which after I won't talk to you until its done." She gasped,"Wow that is going to be hard to do." An answer that I expected, I've seen into her, she has self worth issues, has been used and abused in her past and it was now my job to show her different. A couple of days pass and sure enough she brought me the list, completed.

"Alright, it seems that you're taking this seriously, which is good. Now go get the rice and pour a little on the floor there. Then kneel upon it." I stated. "But didn't I do what you asked?" she asked seeming confused. "Do not question, just do." She hesitated for a moment, seemingly lost. She finally decided to kneel upon the rice, and winced upon doing so. I walk over and hand her the list and say, "Now read to me the list." She picks up the paper and begins to read off her reasons. "Now read them to me like you mean them." She started to weep softly. "This really is starting to hurt master" she whined. "Good perhaps it will get your attention, since words are lost on you, read them again," I said coolly. She read her list to completion a second time. "That just won't do, so I guess you're stuck" I was forced to say. I walked over and grabbed her hair, lifted her head up and asked her "Do you like it down there? Does that position bring you pleasure?" "No master", she replied.
I raised my voice slightly, "Then why do you not do what I ask?" "But I am master, I'm doing everything you asked but I'm still being punished" she cried. " How does that make you feel?" I asked. "Do you like this situation? Do you like being treated unfairly? Seemingly you do everything right but you still feel punished?" She paused for a moment looking at me, the tears had stopped. "This is exactly what you do to yourself every time you let someone else have power over you in your life. You feel powerless and worthless so you do whatever it is you feel is nesessary to please them. So if you feel that this situation is unfair and that you are in the right, then you know what to do. Unless you want to keep reading," I stated with authority. "But that will be disobeying you," she sobbed. "When this all started I told you it would be hard, and the choices you make will be difficult," I reminded her. "So one more time from the top, let's hear that list," I commanded. She had a look on her face, tears began to stream down her cheeks, instead of reading her list she started to rise from the floor, I didn't say a word, she kept her eyes on me the entire time. She stood up looked me in the eyes and almost shouted her list at me. I rose from my chair and walked to her, she was shaking head to toe almost shivering. "Now when you chose to rise from the floor, why did you do it? I asked. "It hurt really bad I couldn't take any more. I'm sorry master that I stood without your permission" "Oh I only asked you to kneel, I never said for how long. You decided that must be what I want so you continued in the pain to please me. You never thought to stop and ask me if I wanted you to continue to kneel, you just assumed. Lesson one, never should a master ask you to complete a task then punish you, but every time you do these things in your life, to hurt yourself to please someone, you are doing just that" I stated. Upon completion of that sentence, she looked up at me with tear filled eyes, it was almost as if a safe had been cracked. I could see years of pain and anguish on her face. "Come here you gorgeous thing you," I said while scooping her up in my arms. She buried herself into my chest and sobbed uncontrollably. I packed her into the bedroom and laid her upon the bed, climbed up into the bed with her, pulled the blankets up over us, and just laid with her. She clung to me like a new born. Some time passed and her sobbing lessened a bit, and through red eyes and a cracking voice she told me, "Thank you"

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